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Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie/Transcript
(In the opening scene after George and Harold hum the fanfare of DreamWorks, a fade black is seen on screen) Harold: (from o.s) DreamWorks Animation presents... (George puts a yellow paper in front of the screen that says "In Assosiastiun With") George: (from o.s) In association with... (Harold puts a logo that says "Treehouse Comix, Inc.") George and Harold: Treehouse Comix, Inc.! (George hums and turns the page which it says "A long, long, long, long time ago") George: All right, okay. So, a long, long, long, long time ago... (The other rectangle page then says "In a galaxy far, far away") In a galaxy far, far, away... (He turns the page where the earth is in space) There's a planet called Underpanty World. Harold: Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. (He erases half of the earth and draws the blank bottom of the earth into an underwear) Okay, go. (Zoom in to people flying around wearing red capes and underwears) George: Underpanty World was a peaceful planet where everybody wore only underwear. (The whole city starts crashing and the people fly away) Until, it started to blow up for some reason. (Pan to Big Daddy Long Johns panicking) Big Daddy Long Johns: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. (He is then holding a space baby) Space Baby: Da-da. Boy 1: Meanwhile, the leaders of Underpanty World, Big Daddy Long Johns and his wife Princess Pantyhose saved their baby by stretching his underwear really far and then they shot him into space. (Big Daddy Long Johns sees the spaceship flying away and runs to Princess Pantyhose and throws the space baby to her and puts him in the sling shot. Princess Pantyhose lets go of the space baby) Big Daddy Long Johns: Godspeed, little Underpants. Space Baby: Whee! (The underwear earth explodes. The space baby flew by some astronauts and crashes on the ground) George: And then he crashed on earth and he was raised by some nice fi...(Two dolphins pop up) Dolphins? (The dolphins start chirping) Harold: Yeah, dolphins. Just go with it. George: Okay, fine. Space Baby: (from o.s) Goo goo, ga ga! Tra-la-la-la-la-la! (The male dolphin picks up the space baby. The female dolphin coos) George: But, the space baby grew up fast. (The space baby grows up and turns into Captain Underpants) Female Dolphin: Eugh! (Pan to the school bus) Boy 1: Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! Girl: It's a plane! Boy 2: It's an egg salad sandwich! (Pan to the egg salad sandwich wearing underpants) Egg Salad Sandwich: And guess what? (Knocks down the bridge) I'm rotten! (He laughs maniacally. The people in the bus start screaming as they fall down. Pan to Captain Underpants flying) Captain Underpants: Faster than a speeding waistband! More powerful than boxer shorts! (He uses his underpants to hold the broken bridge as the people in the bus go across) Egg Salad Sandwich: You'll never catch me, Captain Underpants! (He laughs maniacally and flies in the sky scraper which causes a wedgie to his underwear) Owie! Captain Underpants: Able to leap tall buildings without getting a wedgie! (Flies down to the policeman) Policeman: Hey, alright, good for you, pal. Now put on some clothes, you weirdo. Captain Underpants: (Laughs) No way! I fight for truth, justice, and all that is preshrunk and cottony! For I am...(He uses his power to use electricity and flies away) Harold: Captain Underpants! (He writes the words on the title. Zoom back to Harold Hutchins and George Beard) The origin issue. George: It's so good. We should've done an origin issue ages ago. Harold: Yeah, like, first. George: You know, I'm not sure about the dolphins, though. Harold: Yeah, I know, it's just, I didn't know if it was the thing where it's like, good weird or bad weird. Like is it something... (All of a sudden, Mr. Benjamin "Benny" Krupp grabs the comic book and rips it apart.) Harold: (sobbing) The origin issue! Krupp: I've told you two a thousand times not to draw these idiotic comics! (He tears up the comic book and letd the pieces fly everywhere. George uses his arms to make a cross) George: Freeze! (The scene suddenly freezes, except George and Harold. He waves to the audience) Hey, everybody! Wait one second. (Removes the pieces) Hi, I'm George Beard, and this is my best friend, Harold Hutchins. Harold: (Takes one of the pieces of the comic book) Hey. Aw, man. George: Its okay. We got more ideas. (To the audience) See, Harold loves to draw and I love to tell stories. And this old guy looking angry right here, well, this is the worst principal in the world, Mr, Krupp. Harold: Mean old Mr. Krupp. Hates anything fun. Like comic books, (The camera pans to the torn up comic pieces still floating in the air) recess... (The scene changes to the drawings of three kids playing jump rope until Krupp cuts the rope with scissors) Christmas... (The scene changes to the drawing in a winter setting Santa riding in his sleigh before flooring it back the way he came after Krupp jumpscares him) Even kittens! (The drawing of Krupp uses a flame thrower on the kitten with a censor bar blocking the carnage) George: Oh, my goodness, did that really happen? Harold: Uh, no. Not technically. (angrily) BUT IT MIGHT AS WELL HAVE! I'm sorry, I-- I'm so mad about the comic. George: Yeah, me too. (Sits back down and makes a cross again by his arms and covers his ears) And unfreeze. (The scene then unfreezes and the pieces of the comic book fall down and Krupp unfreezes as well.) Krupp: (angrily) In my office... (George covers his ears for this) NOW! (Cuts to Krupp's office...) George: (whispers to Harold) What is happening right now? Harold: I don't know. George: Do you think he fell asleep with his eyes open? Harold: Maybe. Let's try and leave and see what happens. (George and Harold slowly walking away toward the door, but Krupp pushed the button. The security door locked up.) Harold: Ahh! (Security door key twisted to locked up.) Door voice: Door lock activated. George: Wow. That's an expensive door. Krupp: It was a choice between the magnetic automatic door closer... and the music and arts programs. (flashback to art room) Krupp: Agh! (Krupp puts the painting board inside the tuba and evil chuckles) (end flashback) Krupp: Pretty sure I made the right choice. This morning's school sign is supposed to read... "Sewage plant field trips are today". So can either of you explain why it now reads... (pulls up the blinds revealing the school sign) "Come see my hairy armpits"?!? (George and Harold laughing) Krupp: I know you two are responsible. George: How? How do you know? Do you have any proof? I mean, this is a country of laws. Krupp: The proof is here. Inside my gut. Harold: He must have a lot of proof in there. Quiet fives. George: Quiet fives. Krupp: Ever since you attended this elementary school... you've been responsible for one prank after another. (Mr. Fyde pulls down the slider, picture of him working out with muscles) Kids: (laughing) Ms. Ribble: Shh... (The chair boings up to Ms. Ribble and the kids laughing) George: Wow, That's a lot of pranks. Harold: Yeah, when it's cut all together like that, you really get a sense of the scope. George: Some of those must've been really hard to pull off. Harold: And dangerous. Like that tiger? George: Well, that tiger was crazy. Krupp: Augh! For four long years... you two have been disrupting the carefully calibrated, drone-like beehive... that this elementary school is supposed to be. I may not be able to prove it yet... but I'm gonna get you two one day. One day very, very soon. George's Mom: Get in the car, boys. You got the Invention Convention today. (The scene then switches back outside, and the cat begins hissing and jumps in the air to catch a bird with the dog beginning to have a scuffle over the bird. It then begins to storm, then with the scene cutting to a tree branch where a leaf curls up, then snaps off. The camera then pans down to the line of kids slowly marching into the school's Invention Convention.) Krupp: Is this thing on? *Ahem.* Quick announcement. Our science teacher, Mr. Fyde, is no longer with us. (The kids gasp, except George and Harold) Girl: He's dead?! (She begins crying) Krupp: What? No! Not like that. He wanted to spend Saturday with his family, (he laughs for a brief moment) so I fired him! I'll find a replacement next week. *Ahem* On to Melvin Sneedly with the first of his 16-- Melvin: Actually it's 17. Krupp: 17 inventions. Take it away, Melvin. Category:Transcripts Category:DreamWorks Animation Transcripts Category:20th Century Fox Transcripts